Wednesday, January 14, 2009

MY MAIL LADY

I have this mail lady.
She scares me.
If a package is too big for the mailbox,
she'll drive into your driveway
and SIT on the horn
until you drop everything you're doing
and run
(more like a full out SPRINT)
to get your mail/package.
When we first moved in...
she apparently didn't like the way
we put our NEW mailbox up,
because she stopped delivering our mail.
It took us almost two weeks to figure it out,
you see...
she won't tell you if there is a problem,
she'll just stop delivering.
Since we live on a mountain,
our road is quite steep.
If it rains,
the runoff sometimes erodes
the area in front of the mailbox,
creating a large dip.
If it gets too deep
she won't say anything...
she'll just stop delivering.
When it snows,
you MUST have a shoveled path
to the mailbox
or she won't deliver.
No warning, no messages,
NO MAIL!!!
Today we're going on 3 days without mail.
I'm guessing our path next to the
mailbox isn't cleared enough.
My mom tells me to bake her something,
and leave it in the mailbox.
(you know...to be nice)
I could do that,
but since she chooses when to deliver our mail...
she might not get it until spring...
(...when the snow thaws...but then it might be too muddy for her jeep which means we might be talking summer and we all know that it rains a lot so the road in front of the mailbox might be washed out and that means possibly fall, but then the leaves falling might completely cover our mailbox and she'd never be able to find it until winter...)
So...if you've sent me a letter...
I might not get it until next year! :)

20 comments:

LL said...

maybe you should send HER a letter. Just a thought :)
I have sent you three packages this week, sorry you'll never get them....

KeriLyn and Matthew said...

that is funny....well, only b/c it is not my mail lady....it would sort of irritate me if it were my mail....but it reminds me of the mail man on Funny Farm.

ChefTom said...

I would get a PO box and take her out of the loop altogether. She sounds like a typical angry postal worker.

Unknown said...

Ummm.... remember that phrase "gone postal?"
Scary thought.
I remember you talking about her LAST year! Yikes. I'm thinking you ought to GO to the P.O. and deliver the sweets for the sweet lady and make sure she knows who they are from.
Then? See what happens.
By the way--who was hiding in your mailbox to take that cool shot of you?
:)

nanci said...

Hey, you've found the perfect excuse if the bills don't get paid on time.

ChefTom's idea of a PO Box is good except for one thing - YOU have to go OUT to get the mail.

ellen said...

I LIVE for the mail therefore I am not moving to your neighborhood.

Jane said...

That is not ok! LOL I wanna know who took that picture too, that is so cool.

I guess you won't be getting the package I sent you either.

Unknown said...

We had the opposite problem. We have cluster boxes and after a couple of times finding the box broken into, we got a PO Box. For 2years we would get messages from the mail carrier that we needed to pick up our junk mail, because our cluster box was too full. She refused to quit delivering to our box right up to the day she was replaced.

amy stansel said...

This is so timely! We have a new mailman. I really use to love our mailman. He was the nicest man and wanted to serve. I didn't know how good we had it. Anyway, it's funny because we have not received our mail. I finally got to thinking it must have something to do with the snow but who knows?!?!? So I did a lousy job shoveling in front of our mail box and sure enough....we got our mail today. ARen't the mail men supposed to deliver rain, snow or shine?!??!? Hmmmmmmmm. your post really cracked me up!!

~ eRiN ~ said...

Yowsa! I'd flip out! You're so funny, I'd march right out there one of those times she honked the horn at me and chew her out! You're so funny and patient! If you do make those cookies definitely put a bunch of laxatives in them! You'd never get your mail ever again but it'd be funny as heck! =)

shirlgirl said...

I agree with Tom--get a PO Box. That mail lady should be reported to the postmaster at your branch. She is being one pain in the butt and I know that I wouldn't put up with it. If enough people in your neighborhood complain about her, maybe they'll put her on a different route and give you someone who is nice and is doing their job and not being a pain about it.

Alicia said...

First of all, love this picture, so funny. Sorry about the mail thing, that would stink, but it did make for a funny post!

Smilin' sunshine said...

That really is funny. I love the picture.

Jo Jo said...

I know the secret to your picture, and only me but it is a great picture. Funny post. Needed a smile this morning. Naughty postal worker. I'd post a sign to the neighborhood: Honk if you're not getting your mail either.

April said...

I am laughing out loud right now! She must be a female "NEWMAN!" I guess that's why you haven't recieved the million dollars I sent you. :)

Christy said...

Who needs real mail with Blog mail so quick and readily available?
Maybe she is just bitter in the cold like the rest of us. Send hot chocolate.

Eva Challen said...

Our mailman is usually a very nice guy, but if someone parks too close to the mailbox and he has to get out of his car, he leaves you a little note that reminds you that there must be a 30 foot clearance on either side of the mailbox in order to get your mail. The best was when he put one in the day the moving truck was delivering our stuff! Like he didn't know what was going on!!!!

Anonymous said...

We have mail issues all of the time too! Every time it snows enough for the plow truck to go by we lose our mailbox down the bank, and then we do not get our mail until we fix it. One Sunday Adam spent a large amount of time fixing the mailbox to the post again and five minutes later the plow truck went by and knocked it off again. He grew so angry that he rigged the mailbox to hang from some pretty hefty chains and we haven't had any problems...yet...

Papa Don's Place said...

Our mail man is the glue of our neighborhood. You see, he delivers almost all of everyone's mail to the correct mailbox, but puts a couple pieces of the neighbor's mail in with it. So we all have to see each other about once a week to exchange mail. It's a wonderful system for getting to know your neighbors and keeping in touch with everyone for about 1/4-mile in either direction on a random basis. Perhaps we can cross-train our mail man with your mail lady. No, bad idea, our mailman might learn the bad habits of your mail lady! We better leave things as they are.

Anonymous said...

I deliver mail and what people don't get is that when a mail carrier leaves notes in your box to shovel within thirty feet or tells you that you need to fix your box or whatever, a lot of people get angry at that because they think the problem is no big deal. What you have to understand is that we deliver to 400-500 boxes each day and it's a BIG problem to us when we have to get out of the car to put the mail in the boxes 87 times a day! We only have so much time to do our route and getting out of the car takes a lot more time than you think when we have to do it 87 times! Most of us mail carriers are pretty nice people, we just need you to understand when we ask you to shovel or whatever, we're not being jerks, we're just trying to be efficient at our jobs with your cooperation, that's all!