MOLD

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Every year my children dressed alike.

It was tradition.

They played along, not always so willingly.

2002

SKELETONS

Poor Ben wasn't really into THIS look.

2003
Frogs
It's not easy being green...
(atleast that's what Ben's sayin')
Ahhh.....2004.
This was a good year for
The Mummies!
The mommy spent lots of hours
wrapping and unwrapping.
It was loads of fun.
Just look at Kayla's face.
She can hardly contain herself.
2005 was FANTASTIC!
The BAKER'S FOUR
We brought cinnamon rolls around to our teachers.
Ben was totally digging the mustache.
It's a good look.
2006
Karate Kids
Okay, so this was a REALLY lame year.
We were in the hospital with Ben.
Barely got home in time to trick or treat.
Threw on some karate outfits and hit the streets.
Whatever, it worked.
The BIG Finale!
2007
STAR WARS
Storm Trooper, Yoda, Princess Leia and Padme
*****
I told my kids
I'M DONE!
(no more costumes from me)
FEND FOR YOURSELVES!

This year (2008) my child did just that.

She FENDED for herself.

She's what we like to call

"MOLD"

(who's laughing with me?)
Stevie wins the prize.

Kayla and Kaleb are TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL.

Ben went to be a pumpkin in someone else's patch.

Watch OUT! She's contagious...

ANOTHER SURGERY

I had to have more surgery Wednesday.

(continued FEMALE PLUMBING issues)

My doctor performed a D&C and hysteroscopy.

It was meant to be a same day procedure.

Turned into three days.

I reacted to the narcotics that were given to me.

I had very unsympathetic nurses.

In my anesthetic FOG, I begged and begged for

BENADRYL.

All I got was: "STOP itching, you're only making it worse!"

But I couldn't help it.

I itched and itched like mad.

My whole body looks like my nose.

(arms, belly, legs and neck)

My "same day" procedure turned into a 50 hour hospital stay.

I was dehydrated, my potassium levels were low.

It was AWFUL!

The nurses were SO callous.

Borderline abusive.

It was the worst hospital stay EVER!

They did not give me food or drink for over 48 hours.

They would ignore my call button, or just hang up on me.

I was completely reduced to tears.

*****

I will be writing a letter...

*****

ps: As my nurse wheeled me down to the car, she noticed that she neglected to take out my IV which was still in my right arm. She ran into a nearby bathroom, crumpled up some paper towels, ripped the IV out and threw the paper towels at me to contain the blood that was pouring out of my arm. Classy, huh?

CONFESSION

I have a confession.

It's been eating at me since 1st grade.

FIRST GRADE I TELL YOU!

There was this girl, her name was B.

She had the BEST lunch in town.

I coveted her box.

She had FRUIT ROLL-UPS.

I wanted them.

Every day before recess I would stay behind,

until the room was empty.

When everyone was gone...

I would scout out her lunch box.

Opening it up I would see the roll-up,

and TAKE IT!

This went on for a couple weeks.

I knew it was wrong.

I felt guilty doing it.

Day after day I deprived this girl of her fruit snack.

Until...her mother got the best of me.

She wrote a note and stuck it inside the roll-up,

then sealed it up again.

I didn't see this coming.

I stole that fruit roll-up

and snuck off to the bathroom to eat it.

Inside was the note.

It talked of how stealing was wrong.

I never took her fruit snack again.

I never told her either.

Today my burden has been lifted.

She found me on FACEBOOK.

I confessed of my crime.

She laughed and forgave me.

All is well.

FAMILY PICTURES

This is what we did Saturday.

My friend EP was kind enough

to put up with us for an hour or so.

See?

Do you SEE how Steve is adding some leaves

to this lovely shot?

Isn't that SO helpful?

I know she appreciated it.

I'd show you more...

(like his OLAN MILL pose

or his body building pose)

But you'll have to wait till Christmas.

(don't want to ruin the surprise)

YOU WON'T BE SORRY!

PROM

Be careful what you ask for...

Junior Prom 1991

(HOLY HAIR)

The story goes...

My mom was on a mission.

A mission to find a dress for me.

She wanted one that came up to my chin.

She found it.

And bought it.

I wore it.

My prom date: Brian Christensen.

(The only other mormon aside from Ben in my grade.)

He was one of my best friends in high school.

Here I am being crowned as Prom Queen. (whatever) Let's just say that I felt a little 'overdressed' for the occassion, me and my covered shoulders/neck and all.

DINNER

Dinner, my FAVORITE time of day. I LOVE when my kids tell me "EWWWW". I LOVE when they make faces at me. I LOVE that after I've slaved over their meal they thank me like this...

Harvest Soup...it's yummy.

Don't let them fool you.

C'mon...doesn't this look delish? Don't hide Kaleb, EMBRACE it.
"Maybe if I avoid my soup long enough it will go away."

Rice Crispies...

THANK GOODNESS!

There is NO dinner they can't remedy.

As you can see, even Ben enjoyed his rice crispies!

(uh, Ben...you've got a little snap, crackle, pop right about there...)

COVER UP

Today I was reading from this blog.

click here

(she's funny, you won't be sorry:))

This is what it said:

In 1898 American Girls and Women were applauded for embracing sports such as bicycling and swimming.They were cautioned, that exercise does not mean they

"should don a garment so scant as to leave limbs exposed!"

My mom (Prisciller) would be PROUD!

*

*

*

*

*

Apparently I didn't get the MEMO!

MY RETREAT

I went on a retreat two weeks ago.

All by myself.

Just got the bill today...

to the tune of

$13,631.24

I know...Wow!

Jealous? Don't be.

Pharmacy--------------------$162.15

IV Solution-------------------$240.00

IV Therapy------------------$660.00

Med-Sur Supplies------------$140.00

Sterile Supplies--------------$267.54

Laboratory------------------$516.00

Lab/Chemistry--------------$90.00

Lab/Hematology------------$244.0

Pathology Lab---------------$370.00

OR Services-----------------$2,078.70

Anesthesia Drugs & Equip.---$430.00

Ultrasound------------------$450.00

Emergency Room-----------$1,760.00

Pharmacy - Coded-----------$486.00

Self-Administrable drugs-----$148.00

Pre-Post OP Nursing Care----$4,417.85

Other RX Services------------$825.00

Prof Fees/ER-----------------$346.00

No pedicures, spa treatments or fabulous meals for me.

Just a couple nights in the hospital with an unexpected surgery.

(I totally know how to live it up!)

*****

Hospital exenses: $13,631.24

Great health insurance: priceless!!!

(looking for the positive)

WHOA...

Ever say "I'm sorry" to a stranger

only to have them say...

"No your not".

Happened to me.

Totally floored.

It's a long story...I'll tell you about it someday.

THANKFUL

(Ben, Becky and Aaron)

Today I'm thankful for:

MUSHROOM HAIR and BIG HOMEMADE BOWTIES.
(my kids are seriously deprived)

FEELING IT TODAY...

Learning to be joyful in hope
Patient in affliction
faithful in prayer

"...I have loved you with an everlasting love..."

Jeremiah 31:3

Joseph Smith said:"I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why is it that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. the strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these.....The Lord takes many away, even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again....The only difference between the old and the young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory then the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Not withstanding all this glory we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope."

QUESTION

These are Stevie's friends.

They're what make her

world go round.

MY QUESTION TO YOU:

She wants to play football next year.

What would YOU say?

BEN

Yesterday was one of those unexpected trips to Dartmouth with Ben. I love Dartmouth, (just not this much) can't get enough of the place apparently. I feel like I'm there every other day....oh wait, I am. So yesterday Ben had a last minute appointment scheduled with dermatology. It was for 10am. While there I figured we might as well try and get in to see Dr. Moen - his ortho. doctor - to look at his elbow again. They were nice enough to squeeze us in, but not until 1:30pm. Fine. That's perfect. I got to the appointment early hoping that just maybe we might get seen. Nope. Didn't see her until 2:30pm. At that point, she proceeded to tell me that not only is Ben's elbow dislocated, but so is his wrist. WHAT? Thanks for casually throwing out that one. The tears begin to flow, can't help it. I'm trying to figure out how the HECK this happened to my child. In the process of examining Ben, she decides that his dislocation is acute - meaning it happend suddenly - versus being a chronic problem. To help his situation she felt that he needed to have what is called a "closed reduction" (putting the elbow back in place). In order to do this, Ben needed to be sedated. That meant a trip to the OR. An hour later I was dressing in the big green jumpsuit and lovely showercap walking down a mile worth of corridors to kiss my boy and tell him that I'd see him in a little bit. 90 minutes later Dr. Moen came out to talk to me. She told me that they looked at both his right (the good one) and left elbow under flouroscopy and decided that they looked pretty similar. She took this to mean that Ben's dislocation has been a developmental one and not so much acute like she thought a couple hours earlier. Same thing with his wrist. She did try to manipulate it back into place but the elbow was not having it. So...it wasn't something that anybody else did but rather a slow developing process. For a whole week I've been told many times that it's acute, no chronic, no acute, no chronic. Can I get off this rollercoaster now? The question left is this...if his elbow is not an acute problem, then why is his arm swollen? Nobody knows. GREAT! We're back to ground zero.

Ben before surgery
right after his procedure
his splinted arm

BEST.NIGHT.EVER

Meet my TWIN. He's my other half. I love this guy. We have too much fun together. We're what you call TROUBLE! (don't worry...we behaved) He flew out just to take me out for OUR birthday. (okay, that's only partly true) We went to the CHOP HOUSE. It was DELISH!

This is me standing on tippy toes and him crouching down 3 feet so that we could meet somewhere in the middle. That's what happens when you're
twins with a giant.

mmm...440z. of pure goodness. WHAT? I need the iron... Just kidding, I shared with Ben...just a little.
He even bought me dessert. He's generous like that! My favorite BENs in the WHOLE WORLD!!! Saying goodbye...
Thanks for the fabulous night Ben, I miss you already!

IN THE ARMS OF HIS LOVE

Today Steve gave me this gift.
He cried when he first saw it.
He knew I needed to have it.
He was right.
I cried too.

Caption: In the Arms of His Love

*****

Today is "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence Day"

I thought this gift perfect for this day.

Link: http://www.october15th.com/

FRIENDS

When I arrived in the PICU with Ben yesterday, THIS is what I saw...

A BIG blow-up thingy,
along with THIS and THAT! A big THANK YOU to all my PICU PEEPS! :)

*****

WAIT...there's more...

The day I came home from my "emergency D&C", this arrived in the mail...

(I LOVE you Kristen!)

and this arrived on my doorstep...

(thanks Lynne)
I feel blessed to have so many good people in my life. They say it takes a village to raise a child...well,

it takes a whole lot more to raise ME!:)

Thanks (from the bottom of my heart) to all those who love me, pray for me and keep my spirits lifted.

I LOVE you guys!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

Join us, won't you?

For a Birthday Celebration.

We're 35!

So kick up your HEELS,

Dance a JIG,

Sing a SONG,

Pull your shorts up HIGH,

Eat some CAKE,
Make some FUNNY FACES,

and Send along some birthday wishes.

*****

How are YOU spending OUR birthday?

(Ben's Blog)

SUFFERING

"The cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day be the receptacle of joy."

Neil A. Maxwell

TODAY

Did I say I was laughing about my latest drama? Today I'm not. In fact, I've been a bit weepy. Not sure why. Probably those darn hormones. Maybe it's because I'm in pain. Could be that this latest surgery is another reminder of what I've lost. Possibly my pain meds have worn off. All I know is that today I'm not feeling so well. Good thing I have that pint of Ben and Jerry's in my freezer. Thank you for being there Ben, you always know how to make things better Jerry. For that...my heart (and stomach) thanks you.

SERIOUSLY?

Hello my husband, goodbye my husband

(saw him for 15 min. since arriving home Tuesday night)

I really didn't just fall off the face of the earth. I promise you were not left hanging from this continued DRAMA in my life intentionally. You can check back over at Ben's blog for the "rest of the story" (as Paul Harvey would say). Why the delay? Well...I've been incapcitated for the last 48 hours or so. While up at Dartmouth I failed to mention that I too needed to be seen because I was hemorrhaging. They did blood work, gave me an exam and then sent me home because my blood work looked good and there was no sign of infection, etc. Both Ben and I got home from the hospital around 11pm and we both went right to bed. Around 1am I woke up covered in blood. I changed and went right back to bed because I was so tired. Again I woke up an hour later covered in blood again. This time I called my doc. and again she assured me that my blood work looked really good and that I should just keep an eye on things over the next couple of hours or so. Well, things continued to progress and the hemorrhaging seemed to be picking up. At 5am I called her back and she told me to go to the ER. I woke Steve and off we went. By 8am I was told that I needed an emergency D&C due to the continued bleeding. I wanted to be transferred up to Dartmouth but realized that I was too medically fragile to travel 1 1/2 hours away due to the hemorrhaging. They performed the D&C around 9am and kept me overnight because I had lost so much blood and my hematocrit went from 38 to 26 overnight. I had also developed a fever and needed oxygen for some time after the procedure. I arrived home today around noon. Apparently my life hasn't seen enough drama.:) So now I get to recover from yet another procedure for the next few days or so.

Hoo-rah!

OFF TO DARTMOUTH...

I'm off to Dartmouth because Ben's left arm is really swollen - worried about a possible clot. They want him up there now. It might require a hospitalization depending on what they find. I will update from Ben's blog, you can access it by clicking on his picture on the right hand sidebar. Please keep him in your prayers...I'll be in touch.

KALEB'S HEARING

Last week I took Kaleb back to Dartmouth for a hearing test. He was routinely getting these every 3 months or so. Remember that he had surgery back in December of 2007 to fix his hearing problem, but according to his hearing results 3 months after the surgery there was no improvement. We were sad, but happy that Kaleb could finally hear well with his new hearing aid. He's been doing well with it, wore it faithfully to school everyday. I know that it has helped him improve in his daily work. Well...at this latest hearing test we found out that Kaleb's hearing is now within normal limits. We were all shocked. Nobody expected this, not even his own mother. My jaw was on the floor. Their only theory is that his body must have taken longer to heal than normal. My theory? Maybe all that wrestling with his dad knocked things back into place. Whatever the reason we are thrilled! He will have to hold on to his hearing aid "just in case" for about a year. He'll continue to have hearing tests every 3 months and as long as things are stable, he'll be able to donate his hearing aid to their hearing bank. We're keeping our fingers crossed!

ANGELS ON THIS SIDE OF THE VEIL

...Remember the quote about angels from my previous post? Well today I'm going to elaborate a little more on that subject.

*****

"Not all angels are from the other side of the veil"

(Elder Holland)

*****

Let me tell you about two of these angels. Their names are Al and Ricky. They own "Al's Auto Shop" in town. They fix my car....a LOT! They never charge me. Okay they do charge me...in cinnamon rolls. They are committed to keeping my car up and running so that I always have transportation for Ben. They LOVE Ben. I LOVE them. Need I remind you of my brake troubles from this past weekend? Well today I brought my car to Al's. It was in the shop all morning. It came out with a new brake line, an oil change, studded snow tires for the upcoming winter (they take care of me like that), a new inspection sticker and rotated tires. I came out with a bill for

...cinnamon rolls.

*****

Guess what I'm making tonight?

"COME WHAT MAY AND LOVE IT"

(my thoughts from today's General Conference)

"Every day has PEAKS and SHADOWS"

(Elder Wirthlin)
How true this is. Just yesterday (Friday) my life was full of shadows...my husband is in Utah for two weeks, I am mothering a sick child (Benjamin) who has kept me up most of the night every night this week, traveled to see Kaleb's soccer game with Stevie and Ben in tow, only to find out they were playing an hour later than expected. I was due in Massachusetts at 7:30pm and was way off course. Picked up Kayla and loaded our two Pugs on my way down after returning from Kaleb's soccer game only to find out 45 minute into the trip the "low brake fluid" lights came on. HUH? Called my hubby in Utah who informed me to get some brake fluid fast. Pulled into a Shell station where I found the said brake fluid and called the hubby back so he could direct me as to what I was doing. Come to find out (I'm seeming to "find out" a lot, huh?) I couldn't get my hood open due to a minor fender bender about a month ago when I bumped the hitch of a tractor trailor. (silly me) Tractor trailor was fine, my front grill was not. I sat there in the dark, creepy parking lot with my four kids and two dogs in tow struggling to open the dumb hood. During my struggles, a man pulled up in his truck, saw me struggling with the hood, went in to purchase two sodas. When he came back out he observed that I was still struggling, and came over and offered his help.
"Not all angels are from the other side of the veil" (Elder Holland)
I was grateful for the help and for another 15 minutes, with him practically under my car, laying on his back, he was able to open the hood. I thanked him profusely and offered him a "handiwipe" - he declined. Now all I had to do was find where to pour the brake fluid. Apparently I must have looked really pathetic because this guy barely got into his truck only to get back out and walk back over to me and offered his help once again. After about five minutes, we located the spot and I maneuvered the bottle way up under the hood and proceeded to pour the bottle in. Yup. I poured the WHOLE bottle in - it even overflowed a little. Mission accomplished, right? I again offered my helper who had greasy hands a "handiwipe", this time he accepted. I shut my hood, got everyone belted again and continued onto Massachusetts. Almost two hours later I arrived at my parents home where I dropped off the older three and the two dogs and continued on to my friend EP's house. (who by the way, has the coolest place EVER!) 5 minutes into the 10 minute drive my brakes went. Yes...I was brakeless. In the dark. With child in tow. In a strange place. Life couldn't get any more exciting. I guess (according to my hubby - what does HE know?) you don't just pour the WHOLE bottle in - that's a no no. That's why there's a FILL line. (of course...but doesn't he know I was working in the DARK?)
"Don't allow stress to get the better of us...The BEST is yet to COME!" (Elder Perry)
I crawled at a snails pace the rest of the way and finally arrived at EP's. The rest of the night was the PEAK, the BEST TO COME part. We had a blast. My spirits were lifted, my belly was fed and I was surrounded by incredible women.
"The next time you are tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead." (Elder Wirthlin)
Thanks for making me laugh!

That's my sister "daily blessings" on the left, to my right are "smart mama" , "ms. I make my own edible fruit arrangements"," ll", and "the hostest with mostest"

Come what may...and I LOVED it!