Monday, March 3, 2008

MORTIFIED



Where to begin....as most of you know, we own two pugs. One named Sue and the other is Max. Both are really good dogs exept for the occasional potty accident. For the most part Sue, who is 2, is great - as long as all bedroom and basement doors are shut. He (yes it's a he - long story) is great on the main floor of the house. Max is the younger pug at 10 months old and is paper trained. We keep a chuck (absorable mat) by the back door and if we aren't quick enough to see that he wants to go out, he will go on the chuck. No big deal, we just roll it up and throw it out - no harm done. Life with animals is always an adventure. The thing with Max is that if you happen to leave an item of clothing on the floor he mistakes that for a chuck. It's almost like an open invitation for him to do his business. AAAGGGGHHHHH! So...I'm constantly telling the kids when I see their clothes on the floor to pick them up or you might get a surprise from Max.

Today I was in the basement with Ben (where it is nice and warm) because he had physical therapy, a home nursing visit due to a blister on his heel and a lady that came to fit him for his new car seat. My home was like a revolving door this afternoon, one visit after the other. The last lady who was there to help me with getting a new car seat was CRANKY! She was very upset because Denise, Ben's PT was scheduled to be there but due to a kink in her schedule she couldn't be. She instead made the visiting nurse stay to oberve Ben's car seat fitting. The poor nurse needed to leave but cranky lady was a little demanding. Whew! We were in the basement for about 20 minutes or so and the nurse was finally able to leave. We stayed there a little longer because this lady (who will continue to remain nameless) had me sign a bunch of papers. When that was done we headed up to the living room because I was sending back some equipment that Ben was through with. I (thankfully) was in front of her and noticed that there was a coat on the floor and panicked briefly thinking it was this lady's coat - but after a nano second I realized that it was Kaleb's. I quickly picked it up but as I stepped into the entry way to our house, my eyes again were drawn to the floor as I noticed another coat (that I didn't recognize) on the floor with a pile of doggy poo on it. It was HER coat. You have got to be kidding!! What I want to know is, did cranky lady hang her coat up and it then fell? Did she just throw it down as she walked in? I never saw because I was in the basement with Ben. Did Max sense her crankiness because he chose her coat over Kaleb's? Questions to ponder...Meanwhile, she was right on my heels when I noticed this most horrific scene and so in a terrible panick I shook the coat as I picked it up shaking free the pile of poo which fell to the floor. I proceeded to throw Kaleb's coat over the evidence. Acting as if I was merely picking her coat off the floor I went to hang her coat up when she mentioned that it was her coat and could she have it (gulp), so I handed it to her. Thankfully we headed right out the door to fit the trial car seat in my van because the odor of the brown little pile started to become a little pungeant. Thank goodness for fresh air. When she wasn't looking, I opened the house door and motioned Kaleb over with that silent "get over here NOW!" hand gesture to handle the problem under his coat. I went back out to the van as she was fitting the seat in the car when I noticed there was some evidence left on the back of her coat (double gulp)! I couldn't even focus on what she was doing, I could only focus on that small spot on her coat. How could I say something after I already tried to get away with it the first time? I kept trying to think of how to remedy the problem....but I was too mortified to even speak. It all happened so fast my head was spinning. She left and I never said anything. As I watched her pull out of my driveway, it was then that I decided that I am the worst person on the planet.

Go ahead...let the judgements begin...

13 comments:

Alicia said...

Once again you had me laughing out loud, I love it! I think if someone is going to come into your home and be rude and cranky then a little dog poop on their coat is just about right! I think Max deserves a treat!

LL said...

HILARIOUS...I love it. I love the "shaking free the pile of poo", I'm laughing so hard.Good one, you're not the worst person on the planet, you very well could be one of the funniest.
SUCH a great story.

Aaron said...

Perfect!

Rachel said...

You rock! Thanks for a good early-morning laugh. And no you're not the worst person in the world - cranky-pants lady is! Way to go Max.

Smilin' sunshine said...

That is HILARIOUS!! Cranky people sometimes need a little POO!!

Homeschool Mom said...

I love it. That is one of the funniest stories I have ever heard! You are not the worst person on the planet. Another great story Becky!

Maria

Gilbert Family said...

You probably don't remember me but I was in Northboro ward a few years ago and I have met you a couple times. I always see your comments on the Lewis's blog and I check yours all the time, it's great! Anyways, I had to comment on this one because that is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I have a dog who did a similiar thing to my brother in law. We were feeding their cat while they were away and decided to bring our dog over to play with their cat and Mr. Darcy, the dog left them a "welcome home" present right on my brother in laws shirt! He is potty trained so I still don't know why he did it but it's so funny!

Love your blog!

Laura Gilbert

Anonymous said...

Now you really have me laughing. I wish I could have been a bug on the wall to witness this exploit. I agree that this cranky lady got just what she deserved. Good job Max!!

Thelma

Carol said...

Becky, you are hilarious. Alicia and I go jogging and she told me about this story, therefore, I had to read it. You are so funny and your writing is perfect. The story shows the just reward for someone who is not nice in your home. I think you handled it perfectly, no judgments from this side of the country.

Anonymous said...

Ok, you're terrible! That is so stinking funny. Man, I love you Becky but I am never wearing a coat to your house! =) Erin from Churchy

Ally said...

I think this is maybe one of my favorite Karma stories. Miss Crankpot totally deserved it!!

Anonymous said...

OKAY!!! That is the funniest story I have ever heard!!! And I think you are great!!!! And such a SMART DOG!!

Mama C said...

That last anonymous was me, Mama C!