I MANAGED...

to  survive my first day without the kids.  I had so much anxiety about it all summer.  I worried about how it would feel not to be busy all day long with Ben.  After I got the kids off to school, I normally would spend a couple of hours finishing his morning feeds, giving him medicine, washing him up and dressing him.  Then I would do his face and mouth care, comb his cute wrinkly head and carry him downstairs for the day.  That was one of my favorite parts.  Carrying him.  I loved to wrap his legs around my waist and place his arms up over my shoulders.  Then I would carry him down the stairs while whispering in his ear in my cutesy voice..."Ben, do you love when mommy carries you?"  I know he did.  Then I would sit and hold him or put him in his giant beanbag on that darn vent.  The vent that limited his portability.  (sigh)  But it did give him more time with us so I can't begrudge that vent too much.  The rest of the school day I would stay busy with house work, appointments for Ben, bills, etc.  I found that today I stayed just as busy.  I dropped the kids off and came home to finish up some morning chores.  At 10am I was off to a chiropractor appointment and my Muay Thai class immediately after.  Then I was invited by my husband to come have lunch with him at the High School.  I was giddy as a school girl.  Lunch with my husband at my leisure?  FUN!  I returned home after a nice casual date to fill water bottles with ice for my children who would soon be practicing their sports in the nearly 100 degree weather.  (secretly I'm loving this heat wave)  I mosey on down to the field where I run 2-3 miles, depending on my mood, on the track.  It's a good way to pass the time.  After I'm done running, I read my latest, greatest book until practice is over.  Today I kidnapped all of my sweaty, stinky children and headed down to the lake where we ALL jumped in with our clothes on.  Man was that refreshing.  We returned home where I filled out a GAZILLION papers for the school, made them dinner, read some scriptures, said our prayers and sent them to bed.  WHEW!  Not much time for mourning today.  I guess that's a good thing.  Oh, and did I mention that in between all of that I had many phone calls, emails, text messages all wondering how I was doing on this first day of school.  ME!  People were worried about ME!  I felt loved.  Thank you.  Thank you for caring about me.  I'm hanging in there.  One day at a time, right?