Saturday, September 26, 2009

THINK/SAY

Have you ever said something before you REALLY thought about it first? I have. I try to avoid it at all costs. There have been times when I have suspected a woman to be pregnant, but I would NEVER ask her unless I knew for sure. I've gone to such trouble to verify with 5 or 6 people before approaching said woman because heaven forbid I should open my mouth just to find out she was 6 years post-partum. That would be embarrassing. It took me only ONCE to learn this lesson. I was 21 years old when I ran into a friend of mine that I knew had been pregnant. (just didn't realize how much time had passed since I last saw her...I'm sure If I did the math, I would have avoided the following disaster) I remember asking her how much longer she had in her pregnancy. "I delivered Hannah THREE MONTHS AGO!" she snarled at me. "Uh...I mean, you look totally good." I mumbled as I gracefully bowed out. I vowed never to make that mistake again. How about age? I just don't go there. That can be a touchy subject. If I am not confident on someone's name, I dance around it. It just makes life easier that way. As careful as I try to be, sometimes I am guilty by association. Last year a dear friend of mine was kind enough to force me to go the hospital when I was SO sick. She's a saint with the mouth of a trucker. I relented and let her take me. I think she has regretted it ever since. My friend was waiting in the hall outside my hospital room while the nurse was triaging me. The nurse asked, "Is that your mother?" (UGH!) From the hallway I hear..."ORTON! Tell that nurse I heard her and she's asking for a death wish!" I sheephisly reply, "Um...no...she's just a friend." One month later, this same friend was driving me back to the ER to be admitted AGAIN! And again she waited in the hallway as a new nurse was triaging me. And AGAIN this nurse asks..."Is that your mother?" "NOooooo!" (it feels like I'm yelling in slow motion) I try to get it out before she finishes her sentence...too late. (here it comes, I'm thinking to myself) "ORTON! Tell that nurse I'm gonna kill her...and that's the LAST time I bring you to the hospital...you can find your OWN ride next time!" (of course she doesn't really mean it...I hope.) TWICE this happened. To the same LADY! OY! It's AWKWARD! Happened again, just the other day. I was with another good friend of mine. We were at our children's sporting event together. Another mom, who apparently didn't recognize me, even though I have been to EVERY.SINGLE.EVENT since the beginning of the season leaned over to this friend of mine and asked, "Is this your daughter?" C'MON! Really? This friend handled it more gracefully than the previous said friend, but still...it makes for a really awkward moment. The clueless mom attempted to recover by telling us that it's because I look REALLY young...(just how young are we talking?) But no matter what is said, the damage is done, and that person still feels really old. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play with my barbie dolls...

13 comments:

Primarymary said...

I remember the 1st day you attended the Worcester Ward Leannr & I met you & Ben in the parking lot. You introduced yourself and asked Leanne if she was older than I was. I loved you immediately. Leanne wasn't very happy, but I think she's forgiven you after all those years.

shirlgirl said...

Talk about opening mouth and inserting foot! I've done that on a couple of occasions--one was a girl at work and I asked her when she was due. She wasn't pregnant--I apologized profusely. So, you are right--think before you speak. Totally enjoyed your post.

Becky said...

Mary! Good to know I started young. Love it! ;)

Cindi said...

I think that our local ER nurses are trained to do that!!! Once when I took Suzann B. there, the nurse asked if I was her mother!!! Suzann just chuckled and said it must be because I was taking care of her and asking questions and advocating for her care...whatever. Someone needs to teach them some people skills. (Oh, and by the way, you DO look really young!)

April said...

Hilarious! She should have looked at your chart so she could know how old you REALLY are ;)

LL said...

FUNNY!!!
I'm SOOOO guilty of this. Must work on it.
Still funny to hear the stories, as long as you're not the one involved.

ellen said...

I love your stories!!

Jane said...

I love your stories too--wish we could get everyone to stop and think before they speak!

Trina and Jophie said...

OH boy I did this ONLY ONCE too...I was soooo embarrased!

One night(Well really wee hours of the morning for most)Jophie had been in the hospital for months. I was tired. We both had paraflu and I really wasn't see/functioning well at all.

In walks a nurse. The room is dark. I look around in my bleary-eyed feverish state and say, "Are you pregnant? I had no clue you were pregnant. All the time my jaws are flapping she's very clearly shaking her head no but does my mouth shut up? Noooooo..It continues to go on and on about when are you due and do you know what it is yet...

Oh boy I still duck and hide when we have that nurse! LOL

Trina and Jophie

Adam and Anya said...

Once I answered the door and a saleman said "Is your mommy home?".
"I AM the mom." I said.

And once I was dating a guy and called him the wrong name.

Jo Jo said...

Love Lisa, tell her hello for me. She's a saint. And yes, you do look really young. Love that trait.

Heather O. said...

Yeah, one time my neighbor was talking about a "surprise shower" her coworkers threw for her. I said, "Wow, I didn't know you were pregnant!" She said, "No, honey, I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. This was a wedding shower."

Oh. So not only was she NOT pregnant, she wasn't even married to the man she had been living with for the past two years. Awkward.

I also one time asked a patient's next of kin if she was his wife. She very huffily said, "That's the SECOND time somebody has asked me that! I'm not his WIFE, I'm his DAUGHTER! Do I look old enough to be his wife? He's NINETY YEARS OLD!"

Whoops.

One time somebody asked my boyfriend if he was my dad. He was a lot older than I was, and it made me crack up laughing. He, on the other hand, was not amused. Can't imagine why....

Alana said...

Hey, its better than being on the other end when people are asking you if you're the mother of the friend.