Tuesday, July 14, 2009

LABELS

Having a disabled child comes with many difficult decisions. Ones that have brought me to my knees more times than I can count. A few years ago we had the discussion of a DNR. (do not resuscitate) Do we make Ben a DNR? The doctor's wanted to know. I hated that I was forced to talk about this situation concerning one of my children and knowing that it wasn't even a question with the others. It wasn't fair. Ben's life was a debate of "Quality vs. Quantity".
We're a QUALITY type of family.
So back a couple years, after the decision was finalized...a nurse brought a BLACK DNR bracelet into the room for Ben to wear. (Ben's labled as a "partial DNR") I was sick to my stomach. I told the nurse (swallowing back the tears) that there was NO WAY I was slapping that baby onto my child. It was hard enough having him LABLED in the chart, HE didn't need to have the label on his body. Fast forward a few years and here we are again. The hospital is tightening their policies. They want the bracelets on the patients. I'm still refusing. Have you noticed that the color is now purple? As if that's supposed to make it prettier? More appealing? Whatever. Call me stubborn, call me difficult...but I continue to REFUSE.

12 comments:

FAMILIA FLANDERS said...

You're not stubborn or difficult, I would do the same as you. You are a mom that love your baby very much!! we love you and we are praying for you and Ben, I hope I'll see you soon!!!

ChefTom said...

I agree with you Becky, that is a little too much for the hospital to want to do that, I am sure it has a lot to do with a liability issue, but the staff should be reading the charts for providing care anyway. It is stressful enough to have to make those kinds of decisions, but to have a neon sign to remind you all the time is a little too much. Stand your ground.

Jenny said...

Like the Jews were supposed to like their yellow stars?

Jeannette said...

I am so with you on that one. Who wants to be reminded of that? Surely there has to be another way, another method. You do what you feel is right and stick to it. You are a GREAT mom, anybody would be lucky to have you as one. Love you:)

LL said...

wow. these are the things we don't think about! sad that you have to make such decisions~

Sad to hear they're keeping you there for a few more days. Hopefully he'll get all better and the two of you can enjoy your summer at HOME (the real home) TOGETHER!!!

Jo Jo said...

I'm right there with you on the rebelling part. Must be Dad's genes.

Malinda said...

Maybe we should all wear them. Any one of us could crash at any time. Why do they even do that?
You stick to your guns girl!!!

April said...

The DNR converstations at the hospital are among my MOST tender and difficult times.... It's not a choice any parent should make-- and it's definately not a label any child should HAVE to wear.
I'm praying for you!!! LOVE YOU!

troutdalites said...

Wow! It's hard to believe they want to you stare at that thing...like the Grim Reaper...all the time. You are such an amazing person and WONDERFUL Mom. Ben is lucky..and Kayla...and Stevie...and Kaleb!

Sojourner said...

Continue to remain steadfast and immovable in your quest,after all God is in control:-) But it is a sad commentary on todays' societies views.

shirlgirl said...

I don't blame you. They have the info in his chart--they don't have to announce it to the world. Stick to your guns.

Heather O. said...

Becky, I say that you're the mom, which means that you can do whatever the heck you want.

Praying for you and yours...