Friday, July 11, 2008

I'M BACK!

Sorry for my long awaited post...I'm sure most of you understand my long inbetween absences. I was admitted to the hospital again this past week, only to return late last night to my wonderful bed. Even though I was being hydrated through my port, my food intake was getting less and less. In the ten days prior to my admission I was losing more and more weight. I had a hard time eating because my stomach was not only nauseous but it was constantly in pain, making eating anything a really big chore. It got to the point where I was eating only a bite of toast in the morning and maybe a bite or two of some scrambled eggs - and then I would end up throwing it up anyway. I could feel my energy level rapidly decrease - to where even getting out of bed to go to the bathroom was really labor intensive. My doctor talked about doing TPN (total nutrition through my port) for the last couple of weeks but I kept saying no. Saturday when my husband again saw how little food I was consuming told me that first thing Monday I was going to the doctor to get started with the TPN. I agreed. That night a friend who had my three older children brought them back and checked in on me to see how I was doing. Seeing me in my very weakened condition she kept asking me if I wanted her to take me to the hospital. I was too tired and too weak to think about getting up so I kept saying "no, I'll go first thing in the morning". She kept asking, "are you sure?" Yes...I'll be fine. She would leave my room only to return a few minutes later to ask me the same question over and over. (I think she was worried) This went on for over half an hour and I was internally annoyed because I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. Finally because I knew she wasn't going away, I conceded. She took me to the ER where Steve met me. (he was working) They admitted me and there I stayed for the next 6 days. I finally got my TPN and noticed an immediate difference after a few days. My energy level was much better. I actually did not vomit the whole time I was there and gained back 2 of the 10 lbs. that I had lost. I arrived home again last night and because I had to deal with the visiting nurse getting me all set up again for home TPN I ended up throwing up - bummer. I was afraid of that. This morning I woke with a pressure over my eyes which probably means that the rate is too fast on my pump. They will decrease the rate today but hopefully it will still be enough to maintain my fluid needs. It's quite the balance. Through all of this I have been blessed with the love and concern of family and friends. I really enjoy the notes of encouragment that I receive - whether through email or mail, the service that has been rendered to my family by meals or cleaning of my house and the little gifts that have been sent. Last night I came home to a pajama gram from my friend Heather - new pajamas!!! She wrote, "if you have to be in bed all day you might as well look good doing it!" Thanks so much Heather, I can't wait to put them on.

10 comments:

Gilbert Family said...

I know I keep saying the same thing but HANG IN THERE! There is a SWEET BABY at the end of the tunnel. It sounds like there are a lot of people out there that are helping and that's great. Take advantage of that and just feel better! You're in our prayers :)

Mostly Stacie's Space said...

Hey pooped in New Hampshire, know that you are getting prayers and love from Idaho. I love you. Stacie

LL said...

when I compare my week to your week, I have GUILT!
YOU need to be on the beach in Hawaii, I think that should be your reward for endurance!!!
I'm praying that your days in bed are soon to be a distant memory.
Keep your chin UP and your food DOWN!
Love to you-

smart mama said...

sorry for having to hit the tpn- it is a blessing and a curse. There is a wierd feeling when you aren't sustaining yourself by food through your mouth. we're all cheering for you-- thanks for the update.

Heather O. said...

Hope the jammies fit! Yeah for better energy. Keep it up!

Smilin' sunshine said...

I so hope you get better soon!! You are one tough cookie!

Wiggles said...

Hey girl, you keep on hanging. I had a great time swimming with the kids Saturday and a nice visit with your mom. Call anytime and I'll do what I can to help. You are in my constant prayers.

Adam and Anya said...

Pajama grams rock! Your friends sound like AMAZING people. My prayers to you and your family continue.

Michelle said...

You are a trooper for eduring this. Does it eventually get better or do you endure this the WHOLE 9 months. Hang in there, I am thinking about you and praying for you.

LL said...

alright my friend. August is just around the corner and THAT was your the target date. You know, the target date to be feeling better so that we could meet at the pool and EAT and LAUGH and not vomit. You know, the usual summer fun!
I check the blog daily, HOPING and PRAYING that you'll say you're feeling good.
I'm thinking about you. Hope to see your smiling face soon.