Thursday, April 26, 2012

THE MIRACLE THAT IS...

Yesterday, before we left for the court house...I had a period of time where Brady was down for his nap and everyone was out running errands, so I was alone.  I allowed myself to reflect on the past couple years of my life and to recognize the tender mercies afforded me by a loving Father in Heaven.  When I was really little I remember knowing exactly what I wanted to be when I 'grew up'. A mother.  I wanted a BIG family.  I grew up with 7 siblings and lots of foster children and so there was daily choas, but I loved it and I wanted that for my family.  


After I was married we started having children.  My pregnancies (unfortunately) were very difficult for me, but that didn't deter me one bit.  The minute Kayla was born I looked at my husband and said, "I want another one".  So I did, 14 months later.  And then another and then I had Ben.  My life changed...but it was a GREAT change.  One that I never would have expected but am so grateful for that experience.  I tried to have more children, and after Ben was born we tried for years.  Finally 7 years later I was pregnant.  After a hard fought battle with my pregnancy (severe morning sickness, ports, TPN, kidney failure, IV hydration and meds) I lost the baby at 20 weeks.  It was pretty earth shattering for me, BUT it didn't knock me down for long.  The following year I was able to get pregnant again.  It was another hard fought battle, much of the same as the year before...except this time I lost the baby at 16 weeks.  And then a month later I lost my uterus.  And that meant no more children.  It was pretty devastating because I knew in my heart that I wanted so badly to have more children.  It knocked me down for a short period but then I was back on my feet resolved to the fact that just maybe my dream of a "big" family wasn't to be.  The following year I lost Ben.  We went from 4 children to 3.  That was so painful and so sad for me.  But again, I know that I am not in charge...my Heavenly Father is.  I may not understand all the 'whys' but I know that He does and I have put my faith in His plan for me. 

So after Ben passed away I had this drive to become a foster parent for medically fragile children.  It wasn't an easy process and many times I felt like giving up.  But I was being prompted to continue, and so I did.  It wasn't until August 24th, 2011 that I finally knew WHY.  That's the day I received the phone call for Brady, the day that changed our lives forever.  Not a day goes by where I don't think of the miraculous circumstances that led Brady to our family.  And when I think about it I get teary.  Brady has brought so much joy and healing to our home and that in itself has been such a blessing! How lucky we are.  And for this I will be forever grateful.
Love you Brady Boo! 
xoxo

9 comments:

Michelle said...

thank you for sharing such a inspiring story, I am so happy for you, brady is so cute

April said...

Oh that post made me cry. Your quiet courage and mother heart are inspiring. I love you.

LL said...

I love Aprils words "quiet courage" THAT'S YOU!!
You've been through a lot.
Great experiences and very painful moments...yet you don't complain. You just find the good in each moment and move forward.
You're incredible! I love your growing family--lucky children raised in such a happy home.

asplashofsunshine said...

It's clear you don't need a uterus to mother a child... you are evidence of mothering with and without. Your family is absolutely a blessing to this world... thank you for sharing so much with us, who will (probably) never have the opportunity to know all of you.

shirlgirl said...

A beautiful and tender post. Brady certainly has been a blessing to your family and now he is officially yours!

Simone Triffitt said...

It is amazing what has transpired in your life to bring about 7 beautiful babes.... and counting. :)

Emily B. said...

I feel so blessed to have you as a friend. You are one of the strongest people I know. So happy everything went smoothly on Brady's adoption day and that he's yours forever. I love you!

Unknown said...

Becky...
Thanks for your blog update on your family, I really had no idea, what an amazing woman you are and have been, I knew of your struggles with Ben, though unaware you having lost 2 pregnancies, I have not had any amount of the trials you have gone through, yet I understand what it does feel like to lose a pregnancy, I am still mourning the loss of a pregnancy from nearly 16 years ago, my heart is still aching. after reading the comment you have here on this blog from Russel M Nelson, it has flooded my eyes with tears, to feel the spirit whisper that I too will be reunited with that child we lost all those years ago. Thanks for being MY Inspiration!

Alana said...

Love you too Brady boo. Mac still remembers and calls him that.