Sunday, November 28, 2010

DECORATING AND GIFTS

Getting through the Holiday's without your child (or any loved one for that matter) is just plain hard.  No way around it.  Christmas was an especially fun time for me as I loved dressing Ben up in Christmas cheer with a great big Santa hat that was WAY too big for his little noggin' so I'd have to pin half of it together to prevent it from falling over his cute, defenseless eyeballs and scratching them red. (whew, that was a long sentence)  
Putting up Christmas decorations, including his stocking makes me so sad.  But I waited until they were all up and I was by myself before I let the tears go.  I don't want my kids to associate our traditions with sadness.  It was tender watching Stevie putting up Ben's bag of tree decorations.  At least that part hasn't changed.  He could never put up his own ornaments but that was okay because he always had lots of willing (and very cute) helpers.  Every December we pick names out of a hat to see who makes a homemade gift for who.  Stevie told me later, "I wanted to put Ben's name in the hat, but I didn't know how he would make a gift for someone."  Sad.  Last year he gave Stevie a frame with his hand print on it.  
I'll have to think about that one...(how to include Ben I mean)
 I arrived home today from a week long vacation at my parent's home.  As the children brought in the mail, I noticed a brown box with no return address.  Inside was this gift.  An ornament for Ben, from Heaven.  (again, more tears)  It was so thoughtful and something I will treasure.  They even had his name etched on the back.  I love it.  I'm not sure who the sender was, but if you so happen to read this blog, thank you.  Thank you for thinking of us and knowing how hard it is going to be without Benjamin here with us this year.
(update: It was from JUNIOR!  One of Ben's best little friends, out in CA.  We LOVE you Junior!) 
I do love this season.  I love everything that it represents.  (except for the materialism, that I could do without)  So please don't worry.  We'll be okay and we'll get through.  Some days will be harder than others, like when our family attends the "Make-A-Wish" Christmas party next week.  Deep breaths for that one.  We will be behind the scenes this year, helping out and giving instead of being on the receiving end.  I wanted it that way as they have (Make-A-Wish) done SO much for our family.  I'm hoping that this will make going a little bit easier.  
 On a happier note, THIS also came in the mail.  It's my diploma for finishing all of my foster parent classes.  Maybe for Christmas this year, Santa will deliver us a new, medically fragile baby, who doesn't have a home, under our tree.  Here's hoping!

13 comments:

Amy said...

Junior--- I don't know you. But for you to do such a beautiful gift is just AWESOME. Thinking of you Becky. Your houe looks lovely.

Proud Grandma said...

I hope you get as much rewards out of fostering as we do - we have been foster parents for almost 13 years (after our own three children were grown) and we love our work - currently we have four children two of which are special needs so I wish you well and hope you get the special needs baby that you are wanting under your Christmas tree.

LL said...

I love that gift from Junior, so thoughtful!

shirlgirl said...

I saw that very Christmas ornament advertised in a magazine just yesterday. I thought of Uncle David. He will be spending his Christmas with Jesus this year, too. Benji and his Uncle David--together in their Heavenly Home. Yes, Christmas will be hard this year. Last year when Uncle David bought our tree and I had it decorated, I looked at it and wondered if that tree symbolized our last Christmas together. I was hoping for a few more months with him, but that wasn't to be. Your home looks beautiful. I love the picture of Benji--the cutest guy on earth. Love you, dear niece, and we'll get through this together. And Stevie is so deep in her thinking. She's quite a gal.

shirlgirl said...

Oops, almost forgot. Congratulations on your diploma, and I hope your wish comes true.

April said...

Oh Becky- there aren't words
Please know you're in our hearts this season and always... I hope you get your Christmas wish, and that you can hear Ben singing in the heavenly choir.

Sim-Dim said...

Now what an awesome Christmas present that would be!! xx

Jenny said...

Your living room looks lovely!
What a sweet gift~
Thanks, Junior!
xo

Smilin' sunshine said...

Congrats on your graduation! You are a beautiful lady!

Christy said...

Bens gift to all is one that we will always hold dear.
Great idea for the ornament. You'll be the perfect host family!

Alana said...

Your home does look very lovely. I'm sure that there is some spirit just itching to come to your loving home Beck.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Becky, I am so excited at the prospect of you getting a little baby to care for! You are such a loving mom, any baby would be lucky to grow with you!

Anonymous said...

What a special ornament - your family has some truly amazing friends what an amazing legacy that Ben is a part of.

I was so hoping that your news that you referred to awhile back was fostering or adopting a special needs kiddo! We are a foster family and are in the process of adopting our very special little one. I had just thought that with all your experience and love that to continue on loving a child with unique needs was something you and your family were meant to do, so welcome to the fostering world - it has been an amazing journey for us.

Dannette