Tuesday, May 4, 2010

CALL ME GRACE

Today I spent the day at Dartmouth with Ben and Kayla.  It started off beautifully.  The weather outside was 70 degrees by the time we headed out the door.  Kayla admired the obvious signs of life everywhere around her...it was fun to watch.  We arrived around 11am.  Dr. Guill was Ben's first appointment.  We were early and she was running late.  No big deal.  We had ample amount of time in between appointments.  After we were finished there, we headed down to the PICU to say hello to some friends and then to x-ray to get an updated film of his chest.  (which by the way looks FANTASTIC!)  As soon as we got to x-ray, we saw the familiar face of the lady that always escorts us into the room and ALWAYS lets the radiologist that's on duty that day know that "Mom knows what she's doing...she can get him onto the table herself."  Every time she brags about how good I am.  I suppose it's because I move him around every day of my life.  What's so hard about an x-ray table?  So as soon as I had him settled into the room, I locked his chair in place, turned off his vent and pulse oximeter, made sure I unbuckled all pieces and parts from his chair, hooked the urine bag onto my pocket and proceeded to lift him from chair to table.  As soon as I lifted him I felt a deluge of fluid hit my feet...my feet that were wearing flip flops.  URINE.  I just received a urine bath from my son.  "Please fetch me a towel" I say to the familiar face.  Apparently they don't stock towels in the x-ray room.  I guess urine baths are not a common occurrence.  I got Ben up onto the table and waited for the towels to dry my feet and the floor.  Anyone who has worn flip flops in water knows that they are hard to dry...especially between the toes.  "SICK" was all I could think on the inside while I remained calm on the outside.  Remember, I was the professional here.  Not long after I get Ben onto the table I noticed a pungent smell.  He pooped.  I started to panic.  The ONE time I forget his diaper bag he poops.  Really?!?  I bring that bag EVERY where I go.  He never needs it.  Today I forget and the poop manifested itself.  Those that know Ben know that his poops are rarely contained.  No diaper bag meant no change of clothes.  I prayed silently that his poop would stay contained.  PLEASE!  After his x-ray I lifted him back into his chair.  Just as I plopped him down I slipped and fell...onto more urine.  I might as well have bathed in it.  Two more appointments and we headed out the door to find our van, only the valet parking had closed and our van was locked in the garage.  I was tired and just wanted to go home.  A phone call later and thankfully security was able to bring us our van.  He stayed around like a nice gentleman even though I just wanted him to leave.  I told him a couple of times that we were fine and he could leave.  He insisted on staying.  "Open the door please" I yell to Kayla.  She pushed the button and the van door opened but the ramp did not come down.  "You sure you don't need help?" The nice security man asked again.  "Nope, we're good.  Sometimes the ramp doesn't work so I just have to manually lift it down."  I start rolling Ben up the ramp except that his front right wheel never made it onto the ramp.  The chair starts tipping before I can fix my mistake.  I roll him back down and try again.  The security guard looks at me as if he's nervous to leave me with this child.  I think I'd feel the same way after watching me maneuver his chair.  I blamed it on my lack of sleep from the night before.  I successfully load him in, say goodbye to the nice security man for the fifth time and head home.
(to a nice hot, clean shower)

14 comments:

Joy said...

Oh I think that I could have dealt with everything even the poop except for the urine in the flip flop, wet flip flops alone gross me out!

shirlgirl said...

Eewwww! What a day you had!! Bet you won't forget the diaper bag the next time and empty his other bag before you head out--he just wanted to keep his Mom busy, not that she didn't have enough to do. I'll bet you scrubbed the flip flops, too!

Becky said...

Actually I DID empty his urine bag before I left...always do. Doesn't take him long to fill it back up.

LL said...

"Please fetch me a towel"
Tell me you really said that?!?? I'm LAUGHING!

The Mormon Monk said...

And Aaron used to call ME bodily function boy...

Jenny said...

Ummm... about those flip flops I said you could borrow? PLEASE. Keep them. No charge.

Jo Jo said...

Yuck! Sorry! Laughing. Way to go pro!

tagskie said...

Nice blog you got here... Just droppin' by to say hi! http://www.arts-and-entertainment.info

April said...

AHHHH, Sorry, but I'm laughing OUT LOUD :) It's a good thing he's so cute!!

Cindi said...

I was going to say, "We've all had days like this"...but I take it back...I have NEVER had a day like THAT! Poor you!!! Hoping today is perfect for you...totally uneventful!!!

love, Cindi

Anonymous said...

i send you a big HUG !

fiona xxxxxx

Michelle said...

Thanks for sharing you day with us, I enjoyed reading it even with the poop and the urnine!!

troutdalite said...

What a day! Good thing you're made of strong stuff!

Alana said...

Do you even remember what normal is Beck? We deal with a lot of poop and urin in a house where I buy 2 sets of diapers and one set of pull ups but usually I don't have the pleasure of wearing it.