Sunday, April 4, 2010

MY BIRTHING DAY

    It was a beautiful April day.  I was 38 weeks pregnant and feeling very large.  I bribed my OB doctor to induce me because I didn't think my stomach could stretch any further.  After hours of pitocin nothing was happening.  That's when they decided to prick my amniotic sac in hopes that it would start leaking.  The hopeful leak turned into an all out flood.  So much so that I remember the doctor leaping out of the way as the damn let loose.  I heard rumor that the water might even have gone out the door.  My stomach shrunk to two-thirds it's size.  I almost didn't feel pregnant anymore.  (come to find out later I was polyhydramnios)  Soon after I received my first ever epidural which was heavenly.  An hour later Benjamin McKay Orton was born.  I recall during the birthing process how smoothly everything went.  The first time out of four births.  It was a tender mercy.  Even his head came out smoothly...the first time I wasn't ripped from stem to stern.  His shoulders though, they were burly and wide.  I almost escaped unscathed until his shoulders.  Immediately after birth he was lifted onto my chest.  Beautiful.  That was the first word into my brain when I saw him.  His cry, it was weak and faint...unlike any of my other babies.  He was struggling to breathe and needed to be suctioned.  They took him from me and gave him some oxygen.  He still wasn't doing so well.  They removed him from my room and into the nursery.  Steve stayed with Ben and would update me on his condition as the doctor's were trying to figure it all out.  Soon after birth he started having what looked like full body myoclonic jerking and/or seizures.  Then they noticed how small his head was.  The doctor's became nervous.  Nobody saw this coming.  Nobody but me.  You see I felt those myoclonic jerks during my pregnancy and I had those motherly instincts that told me something wasn't right.  They called Dartmouth to come get him.  I kissed him and my husband goodbye, told Steve to keep me posted as I had to go back to my room for overnight care.  I had lost too much blood and was not stable enough to go with him.  It was my worst fear come true.  I was that mother who gave birth to a child with serious problems.  The mother who didn't have a baby to hold.  The nurses avoided my room.  I sat in the dark crying and praying that my baby would somehow be alright.  My parents came the next morning.  They drove me up to Dartmouth where I met with Steve and the doctor's.  The news was not good.  I remember the word "vegetable" being used.  "He was not going to make it" they told me.  My world and everything I knew came crashing down.  I have never felt such despair, such anguish in all of my life.  I didn't care how disabled Benjamin would be...WE just wanted to take him home.  For 11 days we stayed in the Intensive Care Nursery.  He fought for his life and won.  We took him home.  Eight years later he continues to fight for his life and I as his mother fight right along side him.  Happy birthing day to me.

10 comments:

Junior said...

Beautiful pictures. Happy Birthing day Becky and Happy Birthday Ben.
Ben you are a fighter and hero, lots of hugs and prayers. I am so grateful for this world of blogging and the wonderful friends we have met through it.

TMI Tara said...

I have never heard this part of your story. What a truly special baby Ben was, and now an 8-year-old young man! SO amazing and precious. Happy Birthing Day to You, my friend!

Jo Jo said...

I'm still crying. I was poly hy. with Hunter, and had a river out the door as well. Forgot that about you and Ben. Happy Birthday day to you. 8 years of living life to the fullest

LL said...

Thank you for sharing that story, I loved reading it!!!
He is such a miracle~and a blessing. Lucky are you to be his Mom.

Sarah said...

I love Ben! Happy Birthday!!

Rachael said...

Happy to day to Ben and YOU! We missed you all this weekend...

Michelle said...

Happy Birthday to ben, Thanks for sharing your story. Ben is special and so are you!!1

April said...

Ben has so much quiet courage. His gentle influence is truly remarkable. Thank you for being his voice.

Jenny said...

Victory!
And the grace that is your motherhood.
Happy Birthday Day to you.
xo

shirlgirl said...

Yes, that was a difficult day for you, but an angel was sent to you to teach us that life is worth the fight. He has certainly thrived with all the love and care that he receives. Happy birthing day to you and Happy 8th Birthday to Benji.