It's always interesting to me the emotions that come rolling out once I jump back in to everyday, normal life. Mostly because I'm tired, physcially, mentally and emotionally spent. It's what I like to call the 'let down' from the hospital. I put on my brave face and swallow all the stress and emotions of the situation, until I come home. Being surrounded by sick children is just not normal. Sitting in an Intensive Care Unit for 26 days straight is just not normal. Seeing your child COVERED with needle marks because he is such a hard stick is not normal. Wondering how much longer your son can go through these illnesses is just not normal. But, I also know how privelaged I am to be caring for such an incredible little boy and I would do it again and again and again. SO... when I first come home, sometimes I cry. Sometimes I don't want to show my face in public for a little while. It can all be overwhelming. People that I run into have 'heard' about our big adventure, but might not know details and so they ask. Then I tell the story....again. Depending on my mood at the moment, I might smile or I might cry. I'm what you would call unpredictable. I'm also tired. (did I mention that already?) This whole trip has finally caught up with me. I'm plain exhausted - to the point that I feel physically ill. It happens. It's even better when people LET you know how tired you look. THAT'S my favorite. "You look TIRED". Thankyou, because those dark circles under my eyes didn't tell me that already. Just another reminder. That's why I appreciate this picture - it's one that Stevie took. She was a little off on her camera work...but I didn't mind. She mostly left out my tired eyes. It's also captures how I feel. I'm happy to be home. I'm happy that Ben is still with us. I'm happy to be with my family again. I'm happy to be making them dinners and doing their laundry. Things that are taken for granted each day. But I'm also hiding for a bit, atleast until I can get my crazy emotions under control. Just call me Willow.