NAUSEA IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

This is my port that was surgically placed above my heart. It enables me to receive the hydration that I need during this stage of my pregnancy. It's been in a week and so far I am not having any issues like I had with the PIC lines. (thankfully) Aside from some tenderness and itching it's a blessing.

( The only reason you see old blood is from the steri strips placed over the stitches. The black thing is the actual needle that they stick through my skin into the port. This has to be changed once a week - which happened to be today. Very painful since I am really bruised from surgery and very tender in that area.)

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Okay, I give up. I don't know how much more of this I can take...I'm plain miserable with a side of vomit. I keep thinking that it's all downhill from here but it still seems I'm climbing an uphill battle. I haven't posted since my port surgery - mainly because I can't get out of the fetal position. It went well, very painful, but successful. I was rescued this week by Rachael - my brother's wife. She took my 3 older kids down to her house for the week. I'm ready to be a functioning mother again, but my body is not. I'm tired of being holed up in my bedroom while I listen to neighborhood children playing underneath my window in the warm sunshine. I feel like I'm so disconnected from society. I told my mother that I'm starting to feel a titch depressed. I'm tired of bread and crackers and I'm tired of my stomach always hurting. I'm tired of the burn that my throat feels from throwing up so much. I'm tired of dragging around my IV pump and bags every time I have to get out of my bed. I'm tired of looking like Boo Radley in To Kill A Mockingbird. I'm tired of having to rely on other people to survive. I'm tired of having to switch my IV bags in the middle of the night when all I want to do is to fall back asleep. I'm just plain old tired.
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PS: Ben's procedure did not go as well as I had hoped. Because Ben has such tight contractures throughout his body, they did a baclofen trial with him. Baclofen is a medication used to help relax his tight muscles. They injected the med. right into his spine and allowed about 3 hours to pass before determining if it had helped relieve his muscles any. There was hardly any improvement. They did give him a really conservative dose and so it was determined that he would have another trial at a much higher dose. That means another sleepover in the PICU. If this works then we will consider putting in a baclofen pump which will pump the med into his spine continuously.

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PPS: I cut my hair and donated it to "Locks Of Love". I couldn't stand taking care of SO much hair in my condition. I'll post a picture when I'm feeling better.