MY ELEMENTARY YEARS

Everyday my good mother would pack me a lunch and everyday at lunchtime, in the trash it went. Why, you ask? Because I was bringing to school the embarrassing 2 inch thick (if you sliced it any thinner it would fall apart) homemade wheat bread PB&Jelly sandwich with a few homemade cookies. (sometimes it was chunk light tuna that graced the giant bread) I remember many a lunches where kids would stare at me as I tried to wrap my jaws around the 6inch thick sandwich. What 2nd grader even has a jaw span that wide? Nobody was trading anything for MY stash! This was the era when white bread became HUGE, Fruit roll-ups were rolling upon the scene, chips ahoy jumped on board with their cookies and juiceboxes made their big debut. Understand that I came from a family of 9 with added foster children in the mix. My mom stayed home with us while my dad worked as a police chief. We were mostly poor and couldn't afford the store bought stuff. So...it didn't take my mom long to realize that not only was I throwing away my lunch, but my accomplice (twin brother) was also doing the dirty deed. From that day forward, we were made to walk home (1/2 mile) during our lunch period so that my mom could physically see us eat our lunch. PAINFUL! Why? It wasn't the walk - we loved that walk - it was the fact that we were missing recess because by the time we ate and walked back, it was over.

Let's see...how 'bout the time that my skirt flew off during a recess soccer game with the boys? THAT was FUN! (not) I have mentioned before that I was a true-blue tomboy and so instead of playing dolls with the girls, I was out on the field with the boys. I don't remember being fussy at that age with clothing, I pretty much wore what my mom laid out for me. This particular day it was a wrap-around corduroy skirt. (remember those?) We were having a great game, I had even scored a few goals. There I was...running down the field on a perfect break-a-way when my skirt decided to up and leave my body. Now picture young girl with shirt, underwear and shoes running down the field. I quickly made an abrupt turn and headed back for said skirt. I can't remember what happened next because the memory is too painful.

(this is why tomboys DON'T wear SKIRTS!!!)

Occasionally on the walk home from school, we would have a neighbor kid with us. One particular day as we were walking home, this neighbor boy pointed out to Ben and I some poison ivy on the side of the road. We had heard about this nasty plant, but never experienced it's venom. This neighbor boy proceeded to tell us how if we touched it we would get poison ivy really bad. This is where I think I must have been missing a few brain cells because in my attempt to "BE COOL", I told this neighbor boy that I could rub the ivy all over me and I'd never get it. He looked at me like I had two heads as I proceeded to RUB this POISON all over my body. Let's just say that the next day I was not at school due to the fact that I was unrecognizable as a human being. (note to self...never rub poison ivy all over body)