Yesterday, before we left for the court house...I had a period of time where Brady was down for his nap and everyone was out running errands, so I was alone. I allowed myself to reflect on the past couple years of my life and to recognize the tender mercies afforded me by a loving Father in Heaven. When I was really little I remember knowing exactly what I wanted to be when I 'grew up'. A mother. I wanted a BIG family. I grew up with 7 siblings and lots of foster children and so there was daily choas, but I loved it and I wanted that for my family.
After I was married we started having children. My pregnancies (unfortunately) were very difficult for me, but that didn't deter me one bit. The minute Kayla was born I looked at my husband and said, "I want another one". So I did, 14 months later. And then another and then I had Ben. My life changed...but it was a GREAT change. One that I never would have expected but am so grateful for that experience. I tried to have more children, and after Ben was born we tried for years. Finally 7 years later I was pregnant. After a hard fought battle with my pregnancy (severe morning sickness, ports, TPN, kidney failure, IV hydration and meds) I lost the baby at 20 weeks. It was pretty earth shattering for me, BUT it didn't knock me down for long. The following year I was able to get pregnant again. It was another hard fought battle, much of the same as the year before...except this time I lost the baby at 16 weeks. And then a month later I lost my uterus. And that meant no more children. It was pretty devastating because I knew in my heart that I wanted so badly to have more children. It knocked me down for a short period but then I was back on my feet resolved to the fact that just maybe my dream of a "big" family wasn't to be. The following year I lost Ben. We went from 4 children to 3. That was so painful and so sad for me. But again, I know that I am not in charge...my Heavenly Father is. I may not understand all the 'whys' but I know that He does and I have put my faith in His plan for me.
So after Ben passed away I had this drive to become a foster parent for medically fragile children. It wasn't an easy process and many times I felt like giving up. But I was being prompted to continue, and so I did. It wasn't until August 24th, 2011 that I finally knew WHY. That's the day I received the phone call for Brady, the day that changed our lives forever. Not a day goes by where I don't think of the miraculous circumstances that led Brady to our family. And when I think about it I get teary. Brady has brought so much joy and healing to our home and that in itself has been such a blessing! How lucky we are. And for this I will be forever grateful.
Love you Brady Boo!
xoxo
